A perfect relationship is the most pleasant thing in life. It’s the fulfillment of real Love in daily life. But it doesn’t just fall out of heaven. Heaven on earth must be created by both partners. And it has more to do with detachment than with attachment. More close to compassion than to affection.

When I talk to patients or even to people around me, they seem to agree that the relationship between men and women is the most difficult and delicate item to handle. Even when everything is fine on material or health level, it seems that there is a last land to conquer: the finding of peace in a relation with the partner.

Of course one of the reasons must be that there is this complex unavoidable theme of attraction and repulsion. The search for oneness in contradiction to the confirmation of the existence of the “me”. It has to be seen and worked out. And you cannot avoid being confronted with tensions because you are, as a man and a woman, seeing each other very often and creating a practical dependency from which it is difficult to escape without changing the whole situation. In other words you cannot flee from the situation like in many other cases, like in a work situation.

You are obliged to deal permanently and on all levels with your partner. But also with your inner self on a very deep level including sexuality, pride, trust, importance of oneself, insecurity, jealousy, fear, expectations, concurrence, control, money, management, and often the whole baggage of the painful past relations that are projected into the current relationship. And above all these conditionings there are, in recent times with great intensity, the confusions and tensions about the discrimination between sexes.

The advice in this work concerning relationships comes from my own experience. Of course nothing of this has to be taken as a reference for anybody or to be copied into one’s own life situation. It is only meant to trigger an open mind or to take into consideration other perspectives. Find out for yourself in what way it can help.

At the same time, try to contemplate with a fresh mind Everything we think is just memory. Is memory a true value? I think that the perfect vision of a relationship will never be defined and will always need a dynamic interaction. But the more one is free from old patterns, the more easy it is to touch each other in a harmonious way.

One day, I asked my higher consciousness about the limitation that one can bring to another in a couple. My vision about an open mind is that you should take into consideration not only what has been created by the mind construction in the past, but also by the reality of all desires of the human body and mind. You possibly wish to understand the difference between a mind construction and a free mind, so that you can have a feeling that you are really alive and evolving, rather than bound by prejudices. This inquiry, both partners should do if there is a willingness to grow.

So the important thing is: whatever happens, you both should be in equal agreement. That one is not imposing the situation on another. Beware of projections! So that everything is allowed with absolute permission and willingness of both partners. Because if you were to find a partner to come into your life and you were not in complete agreement or would not be happy to allow, that would not be good karma… to borrow a new age expression. You should not do anything unless both would say: “Yes this is something that could be a celebration and could have very practical considerations too for helping the Greater Vision to unfold”.

Published by eddyvancalster

Combining philosophy with neuroscientific principles and with a Master’s degree at the Brussels Faculty of Medicine, I have developed a vision to enable people to tackle problems while overcoming fear or judgment. I help strip away the excuses and convenient stories we tell ourselves to get through life. Replacing them by guiding to a deeper realistic sense, I bring evolution in the process towards a greater freedom. It’s an ability to show you how harmful it is to accept a particular state of mind as an established fact. My work involves emptying the mind of the obstacles that are getting in the way of fulfilment. How can I (Eddy Van Calster) help you or your company transform?

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